Couples who are contemplating a divorce may wonder if it’s possible to handle the proceedings all by themselves, and yes, DIY divorce is actually doable, albeit arduous. Considering that emotions are typically high during a divorce, the stress from dealing with all the work by yourself may trigger back the issues that caused your fallout.
It is more advisable to work with an experienced divorce attorney from Sante Fe, NM or any other location than try to sort things out on your own. Attorneys save you time from researching and memorizing state laws, and they can keep your emotions in check because their professionalism ensures that peace can be maintained between you and your spouse all throughout the process.
But even so, it’s just normal to wonder what it takes to nail a DIY divorce. Here’s what you need to know about it, and some tips on keeping peaceful relations, regardless if your DIY-ing or working with an attorney:
Being a Good Candidate for a DIY Divorce
If you and your spouse are civil to each other, have already arrived at an agreement regarding property division and child custody and support, have paid all your debts and gathered all information about your family’s assets, and believe that the plans you’ve made for your child’s living arrangements are all fair, then you might be a good candidate for DIY divorce.
But even if those factors suggest a peaceful divorce, they don’t guarantee an entirely smooth process, especially if one or both of you tend to have short tempers. The time-consuming research may stress you out, affecting your temperament and overall attitude toward the divorce. Once you lose your cool, the civil relations you’ve worked so hard to maintain with your spouse may crumble in an instant.
There are financial aspects you need to address, too, specifically potential long-term tax issues, which will add to the burden and stress.
Considering those, it’s only feasible to DIY your divorce if you can keep a level head despite all the troubles you’ll inevitably encounter.
How to Maintain Peace With Your Spouse
Once the divorce has been decided, ensure that’s the absolute best option among the others you’ve considered or tried. Reconcile and forgive one another wholeheartedly, even if the issues are severe like infidelity or adultery, alcoholism, or addiction. Your impulse for those faults may be to file a criminal case, but that would only escalate anger and potentially traumatize your kids, making peace nearly impossible.
Set goals with your spouse to help you reach an agreement regarding the division of properties and child custody. Communicate your shared goals and visions to one another clearly to ensure that respect and civility are upheld.
Consider all divorce process options, such as mediation or collaborative divorce, before deciding to DIY. As what’s been pointed out, working with an attorney is more advisable.
What if You’re Still in Love?
Divorce can be a one-sided desire, but the spouse who’s still in love doesn’t always have the choice to object. The pain they’d deal with will make a DIY divorce even more emotionally tough.
But regardless if you’d proceed with a DIY process or not, it’s best to give yourself time to heal during the divorce. Avoid blaming yourself for what happened, and all other negative talks. Immerse yourself in a new hobby to distract yourself from the grief. Seek support from your friends, but spend some alone time, too, and invest in self-care.
Going through a divorce, regardless of the type of process, is always stressful, so ensure that you’re surrounded by the right professionals and your loved ones. Remind yourself that maintaining peace between you and your spouse is the best for you two, so don’t give in to the temptation of bringing back past mistakes and starting a fight.